Wednesday, September 3, 2014

5e PHB Classes: The Bard

Ah, the Bard. Everyone's annoying little brother, tagging along with the cool kids, trying too hard. Where the Wizard has Gandalf and Elminster and Raistlin Majere, while the warriors have Lancelot and Conan and Fafhrd, the bards have . . . Elan.

Surely there are more fictional examples than that to inspire us? Well . . . no, not really. Wikipedia notes that "inspirations for [D&D] bards include Taliesin, Homer, Will Scarlet and Alan-a-Dale." Huh. Well, I've heard of Homer. He was blind, and a fine hand with dactylic hexameter. Not a lot to work with there. While an actual hero, in the sense of being a literary genius and pioneer of storytelling, I do not rate his chances in a standard dungeon crawl very high.

So Bards are rather disadvantaged from a roleplaying perspective, but an even more glaring problem is that they have always been disadvantaged in a mechanical sense. For several iterations of the game, our aspiring Homers had a hodgepodge of abilities, allowing them to chose between being a second-rate rogue, a third-rate fighter, or a cruel mockery of an arcane spellcaster.

To make up for these terrible class abilities, and to have something unique about the Bard, the Bard was gradually transformed into the first buff class -- "Leaders" in the terrible newspeak of 4e. But this made the first problem, storytelling, even worse, because it never made sense that Ming-hu the Barbarian, struggling to scalp an ancient red dragon with his Greataxe, would suddenly hit harder because of a tune the Bard played on their flute. It also never made sense from a gaming perspective -- who wants to be the soundtrack for everybody else's heroic journey? "Your Bardic Song gives Ming-hu +2 to hit and damage." "OK, I'm going to switch from flute to lute and rock the second stanza even harder." ". . ."

But in the 5th edition, that's all history. The awkward preadolescent Bard has come back from metaphorical summer break a foot taller with boobs. The class has gone from wimpy to devastating in one fell swoop.

I will tell you how this happened, but first I urge you to put aside any preconceived notions you may have about the Bard. Suspend your judgement. The Bard has sucked for so long, it may be difficult to appreciate how radically the class has changed. You may find yourself shifting in your seat a little, much like a person who visits the ED for chest pain and sees their frat brother, the Animal, walk in with a white coat and a stethoscope.

To look at the class anew, I suggest you don't think of it as the "Bard." Put the name aside for a minute. I think of it as the 5e "Ninja" . . . because ultimately, I would argue, that's exactly what the class is.

So enough gushing . . . what are the actual changes in the class that have made a Bard skeptic into a believer?

First and foremost -- they are spellcasters now. Real, actual spellcasters, not levels 1-5, kids-table casters like the Ranger or the Paladin. There are now ninth-level Bard spells. In other words, if Bards really existed and they showed up at my door because of all the smack talked of them above, ending up laid out by a Power Word: Kill would not be impossible. How terrible and awesome is that?

They have the normal spell slot progression -- a 17th level Bard has the same spell slots as a 17th level Cleric, Druid, Wizard or Sorcerer. And as an extension of that, their full levels count towards the spell slots of any multiclass character -- making them the choice for a second class for almost any other caster.

The Bard of course does not have the full breath and depth of the Wizard spell list (no one does, or should.) But just by virtue of being a 1d8 hit dice character with weapon and armor proficiencies, who is also a full spellcaster . . . I think we can generalize to the point of saying that no base class with those attributes has ever been underpowered, and that they more often are overpowered (see Druid.)

This suggests Bard might make a good starting class for an aspiring primary caster. Let’s say, for example, that you’re looking for a fresh take on a Fighter/Wizard. You might take Bard 3 and then switch to Sorcerer (probably not Wizard, naturally, since your best stat will be Charisma.)

At third level, you take College of Valor, which nets you martial weapons, medium armor (if you have a Dex of at least 14, half-plate is only a hair less protective than plate!), and shields. You then cross over to Sorcerer with the same spell slots a straight Sorcerer would have, just waiting a few more levels to get access to the next level of spells. Instant Fighter/Wizard type, but sacrificing very little magical punch to get there.

A few levels of Bard would also bring with them a number of minor, but useful abilities, including Jack of All Trades, Expertise, Song of Rest, and Inspiration. All non-overlapping and nicely complementary to a(nother) primary spellcaster’s role.

Jack of All Trades and Expertise, of course, are tied to the proficiency bonus, so you lose none of their effectiveness by leaving the Bard class shortly thereafter.

To go another way with it, take the College of Lore, and now, at 3rd level, you have six(!) skills, entirely of your own choosing, making your primary spellcaster into a Skills Monster as well. Perfect for that Sherlock Holmes/Doctor Who/Gandalf archetype who can think their way through most challenges but still drop a house on you in a tight spot.

Above I suggested thinking of the Bard as a ninja. I wasn't kidding. What are the attributes a realistic ninja should possess?

* They should be a master of deception and disguise (skills: Deception, Persuasion, Stealth, Sleight of Hand, forgery kit, disguise kit)
* They should be gifted at climbing, jumping, swimming, tumbling (skills: Athletics, Acrobatics)
* They should be highly alert and hard to get the drop on (skills: Perception, Insight)
* And finally they should know a little bit about anything that could help them on a mission (which is to say, everything else: the Jack of All Trades ability, granting 1/2 your proficiency bonus to any nonproficient check)

There are ten named skills and tool proficiencies on that list . . . very few can classes come close to that. You get four from your background, four from Rogue, three from Ranger . . . but six when the Bard reaches 3rd level and selects College of Lore.

Further the Bard get double proficiency bonuses on the skills selected for the Expertise feature (two each at 3rd and 10th level, four total.)  So if you want a superhuman acrobatic or master of disguise, the Bard offers that. The rogue has the Expertise feature, but have no magic to speak of. Bard spell list will let you become invisible, charm your foes, fly . . . anything a ninja could want.

And that's before accounting for the Magical Secrets ability, which, frankly, is probably overpowered: at 6th (if you chose the College of Lore), 10th, 14th, and 18th levels, you get two free spells of any level you can cast . . . from any spell list.

The uses and abuses of this boggle of the mind. Fireball? Sure. Wish? No problem. Teleport? True Resurrection? Absolutely. Nothing's off limits.

This has some weird implications. Find Steed (Paladin 2) gets the Paladin his celestial mount. He can't access it until 9th level, but the Bard can ride off into the sunset with a divine warhorse at 6th level. Swift Quiver (Ranger 5) is a powerful spell that grants two extra attacks per round (very few buffs of any kind give two extra attacks in 5e), not too unbalancing for the Ranger, who can snag it at 17th level -- but the Bard with a bent for archery can filch it at 10th level.

Like Warlock spells? (No you won't.) But if you did, you could snag eight of them by 18th level . . . at which point the Warlock himself has only 14. And he has only ten spell slots with which to cast those spells, while the Bard has 22 (!)

I’ll have to think about how these amped up magical abilities work for straight Bards from a storytelling perspective. It really doesn’t make a lot of sense for the guy playing his lute for coins in the bar to study hard, fight a few monsters, and then one day he’s breaking out Power Word: Kill.

On the other hand, there’s a rich fictional tradition of “entertainers” and diplomats who are not at all what they seem. Perhaps a powerful magical order (whose spells revolve around enchantment and illusion, and whose class abilities make them natural spies) is hiding in plain sight as some sort of guild or government department? Are Bards the equivalent of Butcher’s Cursors? Are they an urban take on Tolkien’s Rangers? Are they the freaking Bene Gesserit?

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